"Ding dong the bells are going to chime..."

As Valentine's Day approaches the Door takes a look at how this Diocese is encouraging couples to tie the knot in its various beautiful churches, writes Debbie Dallimore. When Bishop Colin, the Bishop of Dorchester, asked me to co-ordinate piloting the weddings project in the Oxford/Dorchester area in the Autumn of 2011, I felt very excited and saw it as a mission opportunity, writes Debbie Dallimore.

We worked closely with the national team on training, branding ideas and resources.

The National Weddings Project was launched in 2008 when the new Church of England Marriage Measure was introduced. The majority of wedding shows are always held on a Sunday and it was vital to have a clergy person present on our stand.

This is where the Revd Tony Adams, a retired priest and his wife, Iris, a licensed lay minister stepped in.

They are passionate about being at the shows to talk to people and reassure them about church weddings.

Tony says, "We were surprised by the welcome and comments from other exhibitors - The Church ought to be involved! Why has it taken so long? We found that many couples did not realise they were eligible to marry in church and felt more comfortable discussing their wedding in the anonymity of a wedding fair rather than in a vicarage or church. The Church ought to be involved!"We were welcomed by the wedding show organisers and the other exhibitors and more importantly by the general public.

We offer couples a small gift to take away with them which points them to the national weddings project website www. yourchurchwedding. org which answers the majority of the questions they ask. I am still amazed by how many couples assume they cannot marry in church because they are not baptized.

I can honestly say that after every show I attend I come away feeling like I have helped a couple with their decision about whether to marry in church or not.

It may be that they are unaware of the qualifying connections which would allow them to marry in a church that is not in their parish or they feel uneasy about marrying in church as they are not regular church goers. We also offer the couples a prayer card to fill in with details of their 'special' day and Bishop John and Bishop Colin will pray for them in the week leading up to their wedding.

This gesture is really appreciated at the wedding shows and couples are genuinely touched by the offer of prayer. As I write this article, I am in the process of making preparations for the first show of 2014 which took place at Eynsham Hall on Sunday, 12 January. If you would like to find out about local wedding shows in your area or would like to come along and help at one of the shows booked during 2014 then please email debbie. dallimore@oxford. anglican. org or phone 01865 208225.

;Talk to couples who have opted for a Church Wedding and nine out of ten of them rate the initial response they receive from vicars as good or very good - and the percentage rises still higher when they talk about the experience of their great day itself, writes Bishop Colin. In fact the only thing where we 'could do better' is in our follow-up to a couple's wedding and there are comparatively easy ways to address that according to the research done a few years ago for 'The Weddings Project' in the Buckingham Archdeaconry and the Diocese of Bradford. Yet, despite having satisfaction scores that most businesses would love to have, the fact is that whilst we are still conducting about 1,000 weddings a week, this is less than half the number we did a few decades ago. The reasons for this are numerous.

Many couples prefer to cohabit rather than getting married.

For those that do want to marry there is now a far greater choice of venues both at home and abroad.

Church weddings cannot, in most cases, offer a 'complete package' unlike many hotels and golf clubs.

Yet whilst over half of English people believe that church is still the 'proper' place for a wedding, fewer than a quarter marry in church - and the reason they often give is that they feel that, because they do not go to church on a regular basis it would be hypocritical to ask to do so. In other words we have got a major pastoral challenge on our hands to invite people to think again and to assure them both of their legal rights and, much more importantly, to encourage them to contact their vicar. This is the work which I am very grateful that Debbie Dallimore, Tony and Iris Adams and their colleagues have been doing at Wedding Fairs in Oxfordshire.

They attend local shows in the 'season' to say that we are wanting people to consider beginning married life in church.

I cannot prove that, as a direct result, numbers have gone up significantly but, having been with them myself, I know that their presence is greatly appreciated.

Couples are happy to leave their names to ask for the prayers of Bishop John and myself and many discover a new 'face' to a Church which they assumed would say 'no' but in fact delights to say 'yes'. Contact Debbie on 01865 208225 or email debbie. dallimore@oxford. anglican. org if you'd like to know more. Visit www. yourchurchwedding. org for useful resources that can be used by parishes and for couples to use for up-to-date information on Church of England weddings, including readings, hymns, etc. There is a free new pastoral diary that can be used by clergy to assist in the pastoral and administrative work needed before and after a wedding - see www. pastoralservicesdiary. org The Big Promise is a nationwide opportunity for couples tore-affirm their wedding vows on Saturday 8 February. See www. thebigpromise. org. uk for more details. Going to St Mary Magdalene in Woodstock for six months before they got married made Paul and Sue Otter feel part of the church family. The couple had been together for 13 years and had two sons Joseph, 12 and Benjamin, nine, when they decided to tie the knot in October 2013.

As they were planning their wedding they went along to a fair at Blenheim Palace where they met Debbie Dallimore, Diocese of Oxford Internal Communications Officer and Editorial Assistant on the Door.

Paul and Sue Otter on their wedding day at St Mary Magdalene Church, Woodstock ;Wedding Fairs with a DifferenceTHE Amersham Deanery hosted a normal wedding fair but with 'a difference'